Joshmas is upon us again. This means we’re a week away from the end of 2010. (It also means I’m now 41, but let’s not focus on that.) I don’t generally do New Year’s resolutions, but this year, I’ve decided to actually make some. Since this is the end of one year for me and the beginning of another, why not make my resolutions now?
This past year has been a very good one, but it’s also been difficult. Separating from Julie has pushed me to take a really hard look at myself. I’ve spent the past year reflecting, self-evaluating and digging in the dirt. I’ve come to understand a lot about myself, all for the better.
Part of this self-discovery has been getting inspired by creative people in a big, big way. Getting to know Tessa Gratton and Natalie C. Parker has been very inspirational. Wil Wheaton‘s very honest blogging about his writing and his struggles with insecurity has been extremely inspirational. Bonnie Burton and Jane Wiedlin are big inspirations, too.
Last weekend, Kevin Smith wrote a series of incredibly inspirational tweets that he turned into two fantastic blog posts. And my friends Laura and Gareth Skarka posted public declarations of creative endeavors that inspired me a whole hell of a lot.
So…my New Year’s resolutions are as follows: if 2010 was a year of self-therapy and sorting things out in my head, 2011 will be a year of play, a year for me to get excited and make things. I want to push myself to do more creative play, to write prose and poetry, to blog more about comics, movies, TV shows, games and the like, to make trash that is ugly and beautiful, to make mad mistakes and happy accidents. I’m going to be daring and unreasonable. I’m going to dream out loud.
The most important resolution is to DO IT EVERY DAY. Whether it’s to write a single poem or a single page of prose or a blog post or whatever, I need to do it every single day. If it looks like I might be slacking on that, feel free to nag me on Twitter, email or some other way.
The other important resolution is to MAKE MISTAKES. Lots of them. One of my biggest stumbling blocks in creative pursuits is my fear of screwing up, producing something that sucks, making something laughable. I really need to get over that. You can all look forward to me posting crappy poetry and half-cocked blog posts here. (Some of you may be thinking, “How is that different than before?”)
My harshest critic has always been the demon in my head telling me, “You can’t do this. You suck. You’re not good enough to follow your dreams.” 2011 is the year I kick that demon in the junk and tell him to STFU. That’s the reason I’m posting this here, in full view of everyone: to push myself to get over that fear of talking big but not following through, of proving to the world (and myself) that I can’t do it. Because I think I can.
I’m 41 years old today. It’s about damn time I let myself live the life I’ve always wanted to lead.