A couple of key points:
1) When I was in pre-school, I was over at my best friend’s house one day. We were running around outside, and he stepped on a large piece of broken glass. While barefoot. He let out a piercing scream, and our parents rushed him to the hospital. His scream and the sight of the glass he’d stepped on have stuck with me to this day.
2) If I don’t eat regularly throughout the day, I get shaky and emotionally unstable (well, more so).
I had a lazy morning this morning, then ran out to the grocery store to get some food. I started preparing tonight’s dinner–pot roast in the crock pot–when I saw I was getting shaky. I looked at the clock and realized I’d forgotten to eat lunch. I got some food out of the fridge and planned to heat it up and eat it as soon as the pot roast was all set up to cook.
And then the top of the crock pot fell off of the counter and hit the floor with a crash. Broken glass was everywhere. Brooke was in the shower and in no condition to help. I immediately went into crisis management mode, ushering the dog out into the back yard and running through the house to find our broom and dustpan. But I couldn’t find the broom, which is when the panic attack started. I finally found the broom and did the best I could to sweep up all the glass, all the while hyperventilating and fighting the urge to just collapse and cry like a little boy, terrified of stepping on a piece of glass and having it embed itself in my foot.
I’ve now taken a Xanax, eaten some food, drunk some water, and gotten myself to take slow, deep breaths. I’m calming down. But boy, was that not fun!